Stop Drop and Roll

So i felt like doing a community service. So im gonna give some of the best fire safety tips that i can think of.

So imagine your in a buisness place and a small fire breaks out like say... your computer lights up... WELL THERES NO TIME TO LOSE!!! BECOME THE OFFICE HERO WTH THESE TIPS!!!

If its a small computer fire all you have to do is flop it out and take a wizz on it... that should relieve the stress and the fire all at once.... Or you can call over the annoying fucktard from the small cubical next to you and... USE HIS GODDAMN HEAD TO DOUSE THE FIRE!!!! Relieving all annoyance from the office and the fire at once.

For a larger fire.. say... the carpet was lit by.... your weed ash hitting the floor and lighting it :) Then this requires rather you dousing it with your cubical fucktards head, but whole body. So what you do is you come next to him.. Slap him in the face with your laptop, and roll him ontop of the fire until it has disappated.

And for say... a building on fire.... spread the flames as quickely as possible, Flames omit carbon dioxide, and need oxygen to actually keep up, so as the fire spreads the oxygen will quickely be used quickely. An easy way to do this is as such:

Ill be using my friends Bishop and Sarah in this case.

Now the fire has gone around the whole building, what i would do in this case is catagorize how much i love my friends, and the one i love the most i will light last... if you cant decide you do what i do.

*sticks arm in fire*
*sticks other arm in fire*
*runs screaming like a little girl towards them*
*clotheslines both of them with my flaming arms*
*they light*
*win*

And the more screaming like a little girl the better because it will take up more oxygen...

Just Sayin ;)